Massimo Taibi to make shock return to Man United as ‘safe pair of hands’

Massimo Taibi to make shock return to Man United as ‘safe pair of hands’

Erik ten Hag has made Massimo Taibi his No. 1 summer transfer target, as he begins his latest overhaul of the Manchester United squad.

The former Italian goalkeeper, who made a handful of appearances for the Red Devils in the late 90’s, will replace current custodian David De Gea who is set to be put up for sale on Gumtree.

The Spaniard’s latest cock-up at the London Stadium on Sunday night prompted the Dutch tactician to act quickly. Earlier today, a club spokesperson told Paddy Power News;

“Looking back at DVD’s of Taibi’s ability to play out from the back has impressed the gaffer and despite his howler against Southampton all those years ago, he is exactly what ten Hag looks for in a goalkeeper.”

After his short stint in the Premier League, Taibi, who started out as a centre-forward, returned to Italy where he eventually took up a coaching role. Paddy Power News managed to track him down where he is currently turning out for his local trattoria side in a suburb of Milan. His current boss told us;

“It will be sad to see Massimo leave us. After a shaky start when he kept dropping the crockery, he has now got his silver service certificate.

“We have even offered him the front of house job to stop him leaving for United. We would never stand in the way of an opportunity as good as this however and we have told him that there will always be a job here for him.”

We managed to grab a quick word with Taibi, who still seems to be recovering from the shock news.

“When my mobile rang and it was ten Hag on the other end, I thought it was a joke” he explained.

“My last memory of Old Trafford was being bundled into the boot of Sir Alex Ferguson’s car after letting Matt Le Tissier’s shot go through my legs, then being put on a flight to Rome.

“It will be great to return to United where I believe I have unfinished business.

“Being voted one of the worst signings in the club’s history has always hurt. Now I am going to prove to the fans that they were wrong to doubt me and to be fair, I cannot do any worse than de Gea.”

Paddy Power News can also reveal that ten Hag nearly brought another former Old Trafford number one back to the Theatre of Dreams. A spokesperson explained that:

“Fabien Barthez was said to be keen to answer the call, but felt that driving rally cars for a living now was far less riskier than playing behind the United back four.”  

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.


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Video Le Tissier v Taibi – Man United 3-3 Southampton Premier League 1999-2000

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