Spurs have ‘their own version’ of Haaland and De Bruyne – and it might be better than the real thing

Spurs have ‘their own version’ of Haaland and De Bruyne – and it might be better than the real thing

Is it fair to compare the relationship between a forward and a midfielder with a strike pairing? Should Haaland ever be described as ‘just a goalscorer’?


How much?
We’re not sure which part of this Sun headline niggles Mediawatch more…

‘ETI-MAD REWARD Man City set to rake in outrageous £300MILLION in prize money if they complete historic Treble’

Is it a) the use of £300MILLION as an absolute when the actual figure is £285.1m, which is nowhere f***ing near. Or is it b) the use of the word ‘outrageous’ as if it’s ludicrous that City should be allowed to earn so much money from an achievement which – and this seems important – is so difficult to pull off that it’s only ever been done once before?

We get that people don’t like City earning all of the money but, well, it would be an actual ‘historic Treble’. Save your ire for Southampton bagging over £100m for finishing last without so much as a whimper.


It’s Haal about him and De Bruyne
It must be tricky trying to find positive angles for certain clubs this season but if you are the Tottenham writer for football.london, that is absolutely your job.

One win in five games? Nothing to see here. Worst defence in the top 13? Shush.


‘Tottenham already have their own Erling Haaland and Kevin De Bruyne despite goal output concern’

Do they though? Because it feels like top scorer Erling Haaland and top assister Kevin de Bruyne might well be in a class of their own. We don’t like to p*ss on anybody’s chips (we do) but nobody has ‘their own’ version of them.

Haaland and De Bruyne have combined for 10 goals this season, which, maths fans, is exactly double the number of goals Harry Kane and Son Heung-min have combined to score. Feels like a pale imitation even if we ignore the fact that Son plays in an entirely different position to De Bruyne.

‘But the pair are, most importantly, still creating chances for one another. In the Premier League this campaign, Son has created 17 chances for Kane and Tottenham’s No.10 18 chances for his teammate.

‘In terms of the rest of the Premier League, only Manchester United’s Bruno Fernandes and Marcus Rashford better the numbers from the Tottenham duo having created one more chance between them for a total of 36. Martin Odegaard and Bukayo Saka are then behind Kane and Son on 34, with Kevin De Bruyne and Erling Haaland on 32 and Nottingham Forest’s Morgan Gibbs-White and Brennan Johnson two behind on 30.’

It is undoubtedly positive that they are still creating chances for each other but also, they are close to being a strike partnership who have started pretty much every game together. You are not comparing like with like.

‘What is noticeable is that there is an even spread of chances created between Kane and Son compared to some on the list. Fernandes has teed up Rashford 33 times in the Premier League from the 36 chances created in total and De Bruyne 26 for Haaland from 32, which in turn highlights that Kane is so much more than just a goalscorer.’

What is also noticeable is that you are comparing them with a winger/midfielder combination and a striker/midfielder combination. And you can probably get away with being ‘just a goalscorer’ when you just score 51 goals in your debut season.

What also might be slightly more pertinent is that De Bruyne has created 97 chances in the Premier League this season, while Kane and Son have created 55 each. Both have played more football.

It’s almost like Tottenham don’t have their own Haaland and De Bruyne after all. Just like Nottingham Forest don’t either, good as Morgan Gibbs-White and Brennan Johnson can be.


Years and YEARS
Elsewhere, The Sun stumble upon the concept of sell-on clauses and it blows their tiny minds:

‘Chelsea could rake in over £10m in transfer fees for star who left two YEARS ago, thanks to Arsenal’

Yep, that’s how this sh*t works.

At least Marc Guehi is a bona fide ‘star’. Ish. Unlike this fella…

‘Rangers want Chelsea star as Michael Beale pinpoints defender as part of his Ibrox rebuild’

Said ‘Chelsea star’ Dujon Sterling played 15 minutes for Chelsea in 2017/18. Oh how they will miss him.


The worst Man Utd crowbar ever?
Obviously the biggest story in football on Thursday morning – after two Champions League semi-finals and in the midst of a Manchester United takeover – is this, if you live in Express land:

‘England U20s World Cup squad named with zero Man Utd stars but four Chelsea talents’

Were there any Man Utd ‘stars’ in contention? Nope. Are there actually any ‘stars’ at all who are playing regular Premier League football? Also nope. Is this a naked attempt to get some clicks on a piece of FA admin concerning a team specifically designed for EFL players in the main? Absolutely yes.


Oh actually…
‘Manchester United midfielder has played his last game for the club ahead of summer exit’ – SportBible.

We absolutely knew this would be bad, but Charlie frigging Wellens bad?


The Rice is right
Sky Sports, May 10: Declan Rice: ‘West Ham will allow midfielder to leave this summer for £120m to Champions League club’

Sky Sports, May 11: ‘Arsenal fear being priced out of £100m deal for West Ham and England midfielder Declan Rice – Paper Talk’

We blame the cost-of-living crisis.

Video Thierry Henry on the genius of Kevin de Bruyne | UCL on CBS Sports

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